She was in love. She saw him for the first time when she was working at the library shelving books. He was the beautiful. Blue eyes, blond hair and tall. He turned around and their eyes met. She smiled and turned away, a bit embarrassed that he may have noticed she was staring. The next day she and a friend went to see a friend play football at the other end of the city. As she walked into the stadium there he was.

They dated for four years.

They talked about marriage and children. They both loved each other so badly it hurt to be apart. They were young and ended up going to different universities. They drifted apart as they embraced their new lives and the relationship ended. She was devastated. She mourned the loss for 7 years. Her mother told her “You will never find love like that again”.

She had several relationships afterwards trying to find him in another person.

She had a dream she was with him, sleeping on a bed of grass. She woke up and was just about to roll into some water when he pointed to her clothes that were put aside. She put them on and he took her up into his arms. She was very happy. He fell back to sleep asleep and during that time she heard he was engaged to someone else. She was devastated. He then was again asleep, sitting in a tub, filled with toy ships. She carefully took each one out without disturbing him. The water was murky and dark. He stayed asleep. She cried and cried.

She found out later he was married within a month of her marriage.

She met the man she would marry one night after working at the pub. He was in the common room of the dorm . He went to another university and was visiting a mutual friend. They dated on and off for several years. They finally decided to give it a good try one last time. They shared a group of mutual friends and would spend every weekend together drinking, dancing, going out to dinner and parties. Weekdays they spend with her roommates, ordering pizza and watching movies. It was a happy time.

As newlyweds, they settled into an apartment together. She imagined a life of companionship like her grandparents shared, coming home after work and talking about your day. Living side by side and enjoying the simple things. Her husband had very good taste and they decorated the apartment quite tastefully. It was very beautiful but terribly lonely. He worked a lot of the time and she had most of her meals alone.

She brought home a kitten who would be a great love and constant companion. She would spend her evenings playing with her. She was her lifeline.